Loving Yourself Better: A Sacred Journey of Self-Care

"You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful." – Amy Bloom

In a world that constantly urges us to strive for perfection, it’s easy to lose sight of our innate beauty. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, measuring our worth by achievements, appearances, and external validation. But what if we embraced our imperfections as part of what makes us uniquely beautiful? What if, instead of striving for perfection, we focused on loving ourselves better?

The Essence of Loving Yourself Better

Loving yourself is not about arrogance or self-indulgence—it’s about honoring your worth and treating yourself with the same kindness you so freely give to others. It’s about recognizing that your value is not conditional upon meeting societal expectations, but rather an intrinsic truth.

Self-care is the vessel through which we nurture this love. When we tend to our mind, body, and spirit with care and compassion, we reinforce the truth that we are deserving of love—just as we are.

Practical Ways to Love Yourself Better

1. Speak to Yourself with Kindness

Pay attention to your inner dialogue. Are you your own harshest critic? Replace self-judgment with words of encouragement. Speak to yourself as you would a dear friend.

2. Embrace Your Imperfections

Your scars, quirks, and mistakes are part of your story. Instead of seeing them as flaws, view them as testaments to your resilience and growth.

3. Prioritize Rest and Nourishment

Your body carries you through each day—honor it with adequate rest, nourishing foods, and gentle movement that brings you joy.

4. Create a Sacred Self-Care Ritual

Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or soaking in a warm bath, set aside intentional time to care for yourself. These moments remind you that you are worthy of love and attention.

5. Set Boundaries That Honor You

Protect your energy by setting boundaries with people, work, and situations that drain you. Loving yourself means saying no when needed and prioritizing your well-being.

6. Connect with What Brings You Joy

Do more of what lights up your soul. Whether it’s creative expression, time in nature, or meaningful connections, joy is a powerful act of self-love.

7. Practice Gratitude for Yourself

Each day, acknowledge something about yourself that you appreciate. Your strength, your kindness, your perseverance—celebrate the unique essence of you.

You Are Enough

Self-love is not a destination but a practice—one that requires patience, grace, and commitment. As you embark on this journey, remember that you are already whole. You are beautifully imperfect, and that is enough.

So today, take a deep breath and whisper to yourself: I am worthy. I am loved. I am enough.

This article is based on our Deep Dive curriculum for February, which focuses on Loving Yourself Better. You can join us HERE.

Affirmation: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Oct. 1-7, 2023.


Your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Guidance Card of the week for Living Life Better.

AFFIRMATION

I think positive thoughts that change my life.

Definition: positive statement used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts

Other: declaration, pledge,

Opposite: denial, negative,

The word affirmation comes from the Latin affirmare originally meaning “to make steady, strengthen.” Affirmations are a powerful way to improve your mindset on a daily basis. They encourage positive changes, motivate, and can boost self-esteem. Affirmations are sometimes used alongside other strategies, such as visualization and goal setting, to combat subconscious patterns.

Magic, no.
Science, yes.

It requires regular practice if you want to make lasting, long-term changes to the way that you think and feel. Based on the self-affirmation theory (Steele, 1988) there is MRI evidence suggesting certain neural pathways are increased when people practice regularly. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex becomes more active cultivating a sense of inner peace. Healing affirmations are positive statements about your physical and mental well-being. Louise Hay popularized the idea that your thoughts can influence your health for the better.

Wellness is the natural state of my body. I am in perfect health.
-Louise Hay

There are numerous benefits to using affirmations:
Decrease stress.
Academic achievement.
Increase physical behavior changes.
Lower rumination.
Resilient to difficulties.
Encourage an optimistic mindset.

It is easy to pick a phrase and repeat it to yourself. There are no hard and fast rules about timing or frequency. Three to five times daily to reinforce the positive belief.

Find affirmations that resonate with you. It is important to believe in the potential of an action we desire. Also writing affirmations in a journal or on Post-it notes and placing them in prominent places you frequent can make them more powerful and effective.

Translate thoughts into words and eventually actions in order to manifest our intentions. Affirmations help clarify our thoughts and restructure the dynamic of our brains so we believe it is in the realm of possibility.

Affirmations can be created for many areas in your life. Here are a few examples to get you started.
Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.
Creative energy surges through me and leads to new and brilliant ideas.
Everything that is happening now is for my ultimate good.
I wake up today with strength in my heart and clarity in my mind.
I give myself space to grow and learn.
I listen to my intuition and trust my inner guide.
I trust myself to make the right decision.

Living life better through the practice of affirmations can lead to a life you have only imagined.


Find the Good.
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Sept. 29, 2020, written by Becky Wilbur.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long self-discovery program to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month our focus is BREATHE in October.

Ease: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Sept. 17 - 23, 2023.

Your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Guidance Card of the week for Living Life Better.

EASE

Choose to lighten your burdens.

Definition: freedom from concern, anxiety; a quiet state of mind, absence of difficulty
Other: simplicity, peace, content, unconcern
Opposite: difficulty, hardship, trouble

Ease in my life is intentional. I want ease because I do not like feeling anxious, stressed or overwhelmed. I’d much rather feel calm, aligned, in flow and mindful.

Ease is a process of discovery. It is surrendering to the things that are out of my control. It is accepting what I’m experiencing instead of resisting.

Ease takes conscious effort, to focus on myself, take action and learn as I go. When feeling out of balance then it is figuring out what I need more of and want less of. It is getting clear on what’s important and then setting boundaries.

Don’t wait unit you are burnt out or feeling completely overwhelmed to make changes. An attitude of ease can be a driving force in your life.

Put your focus on shifting your mood so you can notice many things going well in your life. Tools for transforming daily life will differ from person to person. There are many ways to alleviate anxiety and feel less worried.

Delegate-Don’t assume you have to do everything, other people want to help you.

Declutter-An organized home helps our mind not be filled with the clutter of “SHOULD.”

Do one thing at a time-Notice when you are multitasking.

Buffer in extra time-Not feeling frazzled with traffic or lines helps when doing errands.

Understand energy levels-Get to know yourself; work with preferences such as being a morning person.

Slow down-Your pace and body movement is a signal to your entire being.

Do not over commit-Schedule in white space taking time out to just BE.

No is a complete sentence-period.

Play, laugh and relax-Add a little fun to your daily chores.

Grounding activities-Breath work, meditation, check in with your body and other mindful techniques.

Seek out those who share positive attitudes-Birds of a feather, flock together as my mom used to say.

Say thank you-Again and again and again, continuously.

The truth is, everything is always changing and nothing stays the same. Be prepared to figure out what ease means in your life. Incorporate the needed changes. Feeling calm, balanced and in control can be the ease you need to live life better.

Find the Good.
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Sept. 16, 2020, written by Becky Wilbur.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long self-discovery program to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on ADAPT in September.

Celebrate: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Sept. 10 - 16, 2023.

Your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Guidance Card of the week for Living Life Better.

CELEBRATE

Honor with delight and happiness. Make friends with your life.

Definition: Honor with exuberance, Yabba, Dabba do.

Other: Party (like it’s 1999), expressing gratitude for a person or event with energy

Opposite: Ignore, down-play, repress, stifle

We have celebrations of life when people pass but shouldn’t we celebrate their lives while they are here amongst us?

At a celebration of life, we focus on the good things our loved ones did in their lives, we don’t nitpick or think about all the ways they may have failed our expectations.

Shouldn’t we celebrate the gift of our own life regularly?

Shouldn’t we celebrate the good things in our lives and give ourselves grace for our shortcomings?

That’s what “make friends with your life” feels like to me. Spending time honoring the gift of our life. Honoring the precious gift of our life while we are here to do so.

My word of the year is Celebrate. For me, it’s a perfect word as daily I focus on what in my life is worthy of celebration. EVERYTHING, big and small is worthy of celebrating.

It is a gift in itself to be alive, especially in light of the fact that last year I looked death squarely in the face as I walked in the valley of the shadow of death.

Each day, I record what it is that day I have celebrated. Here’s a sample of some recent causes for celebration:

• The gift of warm sunshine on my skin.
• The smoke-free sky and gentle breeze after so much heat and raging fires nearby.
• The gift of the sunset.
• A friend’s excellent medical report.
• Receiving unexpected money in the mail.
• Talking with my parents who are both in their 80’s and in good health.
• Laughing with my sister.
• Sharing a tender moment with my beloved.
• Snuggling with my beloved pooch.
• Enjoying a special group connection via Zoom.
• A yummy meal I didn’t have to cook.
• Having a deep conversation with a treasured friend.
• Making a difference in someone’s life because I have lived.
• The accomplishments of my dreams and desires.
• The plethora of abundance of many types in my life.
• The tools and technology like bring ease to my life.

Becky was going to select the word Celebrate for her word of the year for 2017 but her beloved husband passed away unexpectedly in December 2016 and celebrate was not the right word for her.

Instead, she chose the word Steady although she certainly celebrated the gift of her husband and his legacy countless times during that year and continues to celebrate him to this day.

In closing, I leave you with these parting words from Kool & The Gang and I dare you to read them without breaking into song as you contemplate all the goodness and grace in your life.

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you
Come on now
Celebration
Let's all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time
It's time to come together
It's up to you, what's your pleasure?
Everyone around the world, come on
Celebrate good times, come on
Let's celebrate, come on now
Celebrate good times, come on
Let's celebrate

How can celebrating Living Life Better through peace, love, joy, and peace benefit you this week?

Find the Good.
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Sept. 9, 2020, written by Janette Stuart.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long self-discovery program to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on ADAPT in September.

Abundance: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Sept. 3 - 9, 2023.

Your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Guidance Card of the week for Living Life Better.

ABUNDANCE

More than enough.

Definition: Plentifulness of the good things in life
Other: oodles, lots, gobs
Opposite: lack, scarcity

Often abundance is thought about in terms of money.
How much do I want?
How much do I need?
How much do I have?

Abundance is feeling: the joy of being alive and utilizing all the opportunities we can participate in.

Abundance is doing what you are passionate about. It can lead to learning to navigate challenges and having the ability to find solutions, competence, and confidence. Feeling good in our bodies, minds, and spirit with a healthy daily routine is abundance.

A feeling of optimism, joy, and fun can be a part of abundance. Being in nature shows us abundance that can bring delight into our lives. Friends who encourage and support, family to love and be loved, and connection with humanity are all abundance. A can-do attitude that can prepare you for opportunities is abundance.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO HAVE AN ABUNDANCE MINDSET?

Begin with gratitude.
Recognize your riches, not only the monetary ones.
Foster contentment.
Do not compare.

Abundance and gratitude are connected. One leads to the other and then circles back. It is a continuous chain of well-being. The more gratitude I have for the abundance in my life the more abundance I feel.

Have you seen this thought-provoking question?

What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?

Our abundance or lack thereof can make our lives feel magical or bleak. Abundance is an attitude. It can make us feel enough.

When we believe in finding the good and seeking positivity then often that is what we see. Not always the way we might want things to be but finding the silver lining and living with gratitude in the situation brings us the abundance we need.

If we focus on abundance, we get more.
If we focus on lack, we get less.

Make a list of all the abundance you see in your life. For example, picking up books at the library, outside with no contact, is abundance to me. My unlimited texting plan is abundance because it keeps me connected to friends and family. An afternoon spent outside, reading and petting Sadie is abundance.

Think of ways that abundance makes your life easier and more fulfilling.

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.
-Anonymous


Find the Good.
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Sept. 2, 2020, written by Becky Wilbur.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long program of self-discovery to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on ADAPT in September.

Calm: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Aug. 27, 2023, thru Sept. 2, 2023.

Who could use a little calm about now? If so, read on and enjoy your WOW message for the week.

Be still. Feel the peace.

Definition: Centered, peaceful, serene, at ease

Other: Zen, relaxed

Opposite: Frenzied, rigid, tempest, tightly wound

Some thoughts that come to mind when I think of calm are “Be still and know that I am God.” All is calm…all is bright. What songs, verses, or sayings bring calm to you?

People may tell us to “calm down” (which never works, by the way, it just makes matters worse) or to “Stay Calm and Carry On.”

We learn by example. Think about someone you know who is the definition of calm. What sets them apart from others? Is it because they live a charmed life and have no problems? No, it is that they are using their inner wisdom to mindfully choose to respond to life’s challenges versus reacting. They are using their inner power and strength and not giving it away by letting circumstances dictate the course of their life.

Being calm is a choice. We always have a choice of either reacting or responding. Reacting is our reflex, our automatic default, whereas responding is making a conscious choice as to how we behave or approach situations.

Think about a hurricane. There is a huge force of energy whipping about, rain, wind, thunder, lightning yet, in the midst of all the chaos, is the eye of the storm where it is peaceful and calm. I love this analogy for our inner operating system. Chaos can be swirling all around us and we can choose to remain calm and centered.

Think about your normal operating system, are you the eye of the storm (calm) or the raging wind and rain of the hurricane (chaos)?

How does being calm feel in our bodies?
• Slowed, even breath
• Relaxed belly, face, jaw, and shoulders
• Open
• Controlled
• Mindful
• Ease

How does stress feel in our bodies?
• Hyperventilating
• Shoulders up to ears, clenched jaw, lips pursed, jaw set
• Tense
• Loss of control
• Chaotic
• Stomach in turmoil

Look at these two lists and add what feels important to each. We also want to give you some ways to shift from frenzy to calm.

Here are some ways to increase our sense of calm.
• Spend time in nature
• Move your body, shake out the worries
• Meditate
• Nap
• Bathe
• Listen to peaceful music
• Create something
• Spend time with an uplifting person
• Journal
• Self-care, getting enough sleep, hydration, and nutrition
• Ingest positive content

What are some of your favorite ways to shift to a calm state? Today’s invitation is to do some of those things and embrace the calm.

Find the Good.
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Aug. 26, 2020, written by Janette Stuart.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long program of self-discovery to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on SELF-CARE and ADAPT in September.

Fun: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Aug. 21-27, 2023.

Make a list of what you like to do, then do one thing.

Definition: enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure
Other: Entertaining, leisure, a good time
Opposite: boredom, misery, gloom

Spongebob’s definition of FUN:
F-is for friends, who do stuff together!
U-is for you and me!
N-is for anywhere and anytime at all down there in the deep blue sea!

Most adults have forgotten how to have fun. Playful behavior or good humor can be the farthest thing from our minds in our everyday, doing the right thing, kind of life. One of the biggest reasons we can’t seem to have fun is that we don’t even know what brings us true joy.

Daydream.
Stop being a perfectionist.
Count your blessings.
Think about what you liked to do when you were growing up.
Be non-judgmental.
Laugh at yourself.

Fun increases our brain activity and reduces our stress. It opens our minds to see alternative options and helps to solve that dilemma that has been keeping you awake. Fun increases serotonin levels and gives us an improved ability to cope with day-to-day frustrations. A boost of energy, improved memory and concentration will make the fun pro list to lead to positive patterns of thought and even sounder sleep.

There are negative consequences of fun deprivation:
-Increased risk of depression
-Increased risk of addictive behavior
-Poor impulse control
-Poor anger management
-Poor self-regulation

Fun is an essential part of a complete life. A perfect time for fun will never come unless you make time for it. Fun does not necessarily mean laughing until tears roll down your face, though that could happen. What’s fun for one person may not be fun for another person.

Fun is about enjoying yourself. Find what’s fun for you. Think of all the different types of fun: joking around, physical, competition, collecting, creating art, telling stories, planning social events and so many more.

Google ways to have fun, i.e. The Frugal Introvert: 50 Ways to Have Fun by Yourself

Make a fun box and fill it with a coloring book and crayons, word search, play dough, note cards and markers, puzzle, joke book, deck of cards, art supplies and dip into it daily.

Write out a list of everything you enjoy doing.

Having fun is up to you.
It can be free, and healthy and it is an important way to boost happiness.
Make it a priority.


Find the Good,
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Aug. 19, 2020, written by Becky Wilbur.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long program of self-discovery to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on SELF-CARE.

Declutter: Your WOW Message of the Week

Here’s your Words of Wisdom (WOW) Message of the week for Aug. 13-20, 2023.

Outer order contributes to inner peace.

Definition: purging, letting go, releasing, clearing away.

Other: lighten up, visual peace, freedom.

Opposite: hoard, hold onto, stifled, chaos.

Both Becky and I have been decluttering our homes recently. Perhaps you have too.

Decluttering is an act of transformation and requires a lot of effort. It is tougher on some of us than others.

Just the everyday maintenance of balance in our homes is a task. We’ve all been spending much more time at home and perhaps ordering more items online which comes with additional packaging to get rid of. It seems we have so many cardboard boxes at the end of the week! Thank goodness we have a curbside recycling program which makes disposal easier.

We are remodeling our bedroom this month. We’ve lived in our house for 32 years and have not been good about releasing items. We tend to hold on to things too long. We have way more stuff than we need.

We have boxes of our son’s toys from his childhood, books, and photos that require my attention. The good news is that we are making progress.

Decluttering can be healing and invigorating. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

My former boss shared a funny sentiment with me, our items are stuff, and our partner's stuff is junk (to us.) It’s easier to get rid of someone else’s items because the emotional attachment is not there.

I recently decluttered my workspace and the difference is dramatic. Not only does it look better, it feels better. Clearing away has created a spaciousness that has enabled more creativity and prosperity to flow to me. I am loving it. I’m definitely feeling that outer order contributes to my inner peace.

Marie Kondo, Founder, and Author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” talks about releasing anything that no longer brings you joy. She invites the reader to hold an object in their hands and if it no longer brings joy, it’s time for it to go. It’s a good question to ponder. You can find out more about her process by visiting https://konmari.com/

Our items may have tremendous sentimental value or market value. They may have no value to you any longer. You can bless another person with your cast-off items or they can be recycled, repurposed, or disposed of.

By clearing away the excess, we gain a sense of spaciousness, a feeling of freedom.

This week’s invitation is to do a bit of decluttering. Start small, your purse, a drawer, your workspace, a computer file… I have committed to decluttering at least 15 minutes a day and I even manage to do that most days.

Decluttering also applies to our hearts and minds. What are we holding onto that no longer benefits us? It could be time to release a grudge, forgive someone (maybe even ourselves), or a belief that weighs us down. Are you tired of lugging that heavy burden around all the time? If so, now is the time to release it.

How can the act of decluttering bring more peace, love, joy, and ease in your life?

Find the Good,
Becky and Janette


Originally posted on Aug. 12, 2020, written by Janette Stuart.

Check out the Words of Wisdom Guidance Cards HERE. 52 Inspiring words and messages to help you live life better.

Find out about Well-Being for ME in 2023. A year-long program of self-discovery to Live Life Better through peace, love, joy, and ease HERE. It’s not too late to join us. This month we focus on SELF-CARE.